Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
