this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
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