A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
