why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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