god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Well I just put wine in my tea
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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