very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
