Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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