is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
