If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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