If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
