Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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