She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
