the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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