Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
i now understand why vodka
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
