you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
