he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
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I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
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My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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