I will die if light touches me.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
My bed smells like the plague
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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