I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
50% drunk capacity currently
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
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