I wish life had little blips of pornography
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
