Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize