Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize