I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Randomize
