so that wasnt chicken after all
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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