Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
