i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
so let's talk penis.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
