There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
