I wish i was in the wii world.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
