Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
