my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
splinters make it hard to masturbate
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
