i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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