Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
