Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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