Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
