He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
