Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
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