i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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