Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
