the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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