woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
