I wish i was in the wii world.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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