Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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