how can u be prego again
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
