I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
