I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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