everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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