That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
