I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
She made me pour olive oil on her.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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