Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
