i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
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Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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