She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
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