Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
