Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
