He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
