My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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