The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
