I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
