I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Randomize
