I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
