Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
no more duck duck goose at the bar
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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