College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
