You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
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We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
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Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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