How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize